My intention as of late has been to heal my illusionary seperateness, to remeber myself to be a whole being. The belief of being separate or 'cut off' from God or source (insert favorite cosmic force name here) comes from believing that we are only our bodies. Such is not true. I went to school and found the universe inside my cells. I can look into my eyes and see my soul looking back, I know that when I think about my mom she feels me in her heart, I know that I can walk barefoot on Mother Earth and feel her supporting me. Spirit is what gives the body life! Each of us are a mysterious merging of soul and matter.
I say my intentions outloud to my spirit guides, or as I like to call them my 'Starry family' and then I watch and experience in amazement as life unfolds perfectly to challenge me and guide me to the perfect books, situations, people, articles for the understandings I seek. It's also super freeing to realize that we learn the most important lessons through contrast. You know what I mean? We think we know what we want and how to get it, then NOPE, that is not happening, in fact perhaps a terrifying thing happens instead., or your least favorite type of conflict. And we feel lost and hopeless for a while, we cry it out. Then on the other side of that tunnel we come out re-born, re-newed and maybe with that spiritual revelation we asked for 3 weeks ago...
I'm reading a book called "Jesus and the lost Goddess" the secret teachings of the original Christians. And it is AWESOME! In the past I've been identified with religion, withdrawn far from it, come around to my own communion directly with spirit, accepted that religion is a helpful way for some people and now understand that ancient mysticism and the teachings of master prophets are identical all around for all of time on planet Earth, or we could probably say through out the universe. The ultimate truth being (as I'm feeling it right now) we all originate from the same Source, we're having lots of rich experience all over the place on different planets and eventually we head back home to Source...and then start the dance all over?!?!? Intention right now: I am whole, I am love. (and so are you!)
Thursday, April 16, 2015
the human ego
I've had some incredibly freeing experiences from my ego that I want to share with you!
Here goes my first public attempt at unraveling the ego.
We have, as I feel it, 4 main players in this free-yourself-from-ego game.
1. the mystery of where thoughts come from
2. self-destructive and controlling ego maniac
3. interpretation we create based on the thought
4. emotional reaction
1. Where do thoughts come from?
I believe our souls are always trying to heal themselves, and to heal we must feel!!! When we supress or avoid we are not allowing the natural healing process.
Example:
Human feels sad, human cries, healing!
Human feels sad, human implants sadness into large burrito and eats sad burrito, sadness gets stuffed back in. not healing.
On a pure soul level this burrito loving human above has some sadness floating around, probably from long ago, that just needs to be released. Their soul knows this and is attempting to move it through their physical body. This soul knowing of what needs to move through and out is subconscious for most of us. With practice, a peaceful way to handle this could be the human noticing the energy of sadness and saying 'oh here is some sadness, how can I support myself in moving this energy?' I shall hit this pillow and cry. Emotions come up to be cleared, breathe continuously and feel the emotional energy directly until it moves all the way out.
2. This is how I feel thoughts originate. Soul orchestrates 'time to move this sadness out of us!' Human subconsciously feels sadness energy starting to rise up and their ego sends them a thought, "You are weak for feeling sad, you will be judged if you cry"
3. We interpret the thought. Burrito human has an infinite number of choices of how to handle this mean thought. The top choice we've all learned is to believe it and let it become our reality, just keep on believing we can never be sad or we have to hide our sadness. We also have the choice not to believe the thought. The hardest part of this is becoming aware of how deeply identified we are with our thoughts and then DILIGENTLY watching them. Our burrito friend could hear the thought "You are weak for feeling sad, you will be judged if you cry" and say outloud to the thought 'thanks ego for trying to protect me from being judged, but you are wrong. All humans have all of the emotions and this is just some old sadness I need to cry out and release from my being so that I can feel lighter, and I want to feel lighter because I want to feel joy again." In the moment we see the thought and look at it, talk to it, acknowledge it, it looses its power over us and we are present in the moment to choose how to use our energy. When we say "No random mean thought" some joy bubbles up from our hearts because we are feeling worthy of goodness and joy.
4. Lets keep following these two options - a. believing the thought b. not believing the thought.
a. human has a cloud of sadness trying to move through and out of them. they hear the thought that they are weak and will be judged, they choose to believe this and interpret the thought at absolute truth they have an emotional reaction that matches the vibration of the mean thought of lonliness. Now our friend feels lonely.
b. human has a cloud of sadness trying to move through and out of them, they hear the thought that they are weak and will be judged, upon hearing the thought they listen to it and (because they're tired of feeling so lonely) they say to the thought 'No, that is a lie based on past experiences and I don't believe you, I am going to let this sadness energy move through me" human cries for 5 minutes and then feels lighter.
How do I practice this? and does it mean I have to stop eating burritos?
practice:
lay down, perhaps when you're laying in bed before falling asleep, because that is a favorite time for the ego to get a tright grip on us and drive us crazy to not sleep
focus on your breathing, take deep slow breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth
notice a thought that runs through your mind, notice the interpretation you give it, notice the emotional reaction.
if it makes you feel bad, the thought is a lie. if it makes you feel good, the thought is true. Because our natural state is joy, and we are all worthy of being in our natural state because it's who we are.
Avoid judging yourself during this process, practice just noticing this circuit - energy, thought form, interpretation, emotion.
with time start to imagine it, see it, feel it, this is a circuit of energies moving through you.
When I practice watching this circuit I see it like swoops of light from energies arising, through my brain, to my abdomen, it just spins and spins!
YOU are not defined by any of it. It's all based on past experience or maybe even other peoples stuff that you're picking up on. YOU are the light of consciousness watching this whole crazy process. Free yourself from believing that you are your thoughts, beliefs and emotions, watch them as if you are laying in a hammock in your heart with some popcorn.
And yes you can eat burritos, eat the burrito not as a sadness conduit but because you love that cheesy diliciousness.
Here goes my first public attempt at unraveling the ego.
We have, as I feel it, 4 main players in this free-yourself-from-ego game.
1. the mystery of where thoughts come from
2. self-destructive and controlling ego maniac
3. interpretation we create based on the thought
4. emotional reaction
1. Where do thoughts come from?
I believe our souls are always trying to heal themselves, and to heal we must feel!!! When we supress or avoid we are not allowing the natural healing process.
Example:
Human feels sad, human cries, healing!
Human feels sad, human implants sadness into large burrito and eats sad burrito, sadness gets stuffed back in. not healing.
On a pure soul level this burrito loving human above has some sadness floating around, probably from long ago, that just needs to be released. Their soul knows this and is attempting to move it through their physical body. This soul knowing of what needs to move through and out is subconscious for most of us. With practice, a peaceful way to handle this could be the human noticing the energy of sadness and saying 'oh here is some sadness, how can I support myself in moving this energy?' I shall hit this pillow and cry. Emotions come up to be cleared, breathe continuously and feel the emotional energy directly until it moves all the way out.
2. This is how I feel thoughts originate. Soul orchestrates 'time to move this sadness out of us!' Human subconsciously feels sadness energy starting to rise up and their ego sends them a thought, "You are weak for feeling sad, you will be judged if you cry"
3. We interpret the thought. Burrito human has an infinite number of choices of how to handle this mean thought. The top choice we've all learned is to believe it and let it become our reality, just keep on believing we can never be sad or we have to hide our sadness. We also have the choice not to believe the thought. The hardest part of this is becoming aware of how deeply identified we are with our thoughts and then DILIGENTLY watching them. Our burrito friend could hear the thought "You are weak for feeling sad, you will be judged if you cry" and say outloud to the thought 'thanks ego for trying to protect me from being judged, but you are wrong. All humans have all of the emotions and this is just some old sadness I need to cry out and release from my being so that I can feel lighter, and I want to feel lighter because I want to feel joy again." In the moment we see the thought and look at it, talk to it, acknowledge it, it looses its power over us and we are present in the moment to choose how to use our energy. When we say "No random mean thought" some joy bubbles up from our hearts because we are feeling worthy of goodness and joy.
4. Lets keep following these two options - a. believing the thought b. not believing the thought.
a. human has a cloud of sadness trying to move through and out of them. they hear the thought that they are weak and will be judged, they choose to believe this and interpret the thought at absolute truth they have an emotional reaction that matches the vibration of the mean thought of lonliness. Now our friend feels lonely.
b. human has a cloud of sadness trying to move through and out of them, they hear the thought that they are weak and will be judged, upon hearing the thought they listen to it and (because they're tired of feeling so lonely) they say to the thought 'No, that is a lie based on past experiences and I don't believe you, I am going to let this sadness energy move through me" human cries for 5 minutes and then feels lighter.
How do I practice this? and does it mean I have to stop eating burritos?
practice:
lay down, perhaps when you're laying in bed before falling asleep, because that is a favorite time for the ego to get a tright grip on us and drive us crazy to not sleep
focus on your breathing, take deep slow breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth
notice a thought that runs through your mind, notice the interpretation you give it, notice the emotional reaction.
if it makes you feel bad, the thought is a lie. if it makes you feel good, the thought is true. Because our natural state is joy, and we are all worthy of being in our natural state because it's who we are.
Avoid judging yourself during this process, practice just noticing this circuit - energy, thought form, interpretation, emotion.
with time start to imagine it, see it, feel it, this is a circuit of energies moving through you.
When I practice watching this circuit I see it like swoops of light from energies arising, through my brain, to my abdomen, it just spins and spins!
YOU are not defined by any of it. It's all based on past experience or maybe even other peoples stuff that you're picking up on. YOU are the light of consciousness watching this whole crazy process. Free yourself from believing that you are your thoughts, beliefs and emotions, watch them as if you are laying in a hammock in your heart with some popcorn.
And yes you can eat burritos, eat the burrito not as a sadness conduit but because you love that cheesy diliciousness.
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