Tuesday, October 15, 2013
What is saying 'I'm sorry'?
I feel this question on a couple levels.
First, I people throw this phrase around and it troubles me (I noticed this in myself first and changed my pattern). I often hear people say 'I'm sorry' when someone else walks closely by them, like the person who apologizes must feel they are somehow in the way. What troubles me is it seems they apologize for simply being there. I really want this hypothetical person (speaking to myself too) to feel a right to exist, to take up space and breathe. I encourage everyone to start noticing how frequently this little 'I'm sorry' phrase pops out.. and why are you saying it? Do you need to? Instead how about 'Hello, great to see you person!' (The following is learned from my GS teacher) When we apologize when its not necessary or explain away our choices we give our power away. When someone apologizes simply for existing and breathing and taking up space they are saying 'Ignore me, I'm just in the way, I don't matter'. I say to you, you DO matter, because you are matter, you are love and you have important work to do. Why do you feel you don't matter? What is that? Explore.
Second, What does it mean to say 'I'm sorry'? I'm wrong and you are right? mmm maybe. I think it's more to apologize for having said or done something out of alignment with who I am. An apology is appropriate when I feel I've been wrong, when I've acted out of fear or let my own stuff be projected onto someone else. And IMPORTANTLY I keep myself accountable for this. I explore my own triggors and emotional reactions so I can learn and grow from the experience. And same goes for when I feel someone has 'hurt me', an apology is nice to hear, but truly it's a chance to look at my own emotional reactions and choose to either keep that energy or send it back into the universe as love.
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